If you or your partner have engaged in behaviors that go against your relationship commitments, there are two levels of betrayal.

The first level involves the behaviors themselves, such as sexual or emotional interactions outside your partnership. The second level is the deception around those behaviors, including:

The process involves working with a trained sex addiction therapist. The partner who went outside the relationship prepares a written statement to fully disclose their behaviors and take full responsibility for their actions. This is shared in the therapy room with both partners and their individual therapists present. Each partner will have time to prepare and consider the potential risks and benefits before going through a full disclosure. Some couples choose the option to have a polygraph examination done at the time of the disclosure, which provides a way for the one who broke trust in the relationship to show their partner they are willing to disclose the full extent of their behaviors. Therapeutic disclosure is for couples who are hoping to make the relationship work, and not for those who have plans to leave.

The disclosure process may include three separate parts. The first involves preparation for both parties and holding a planned therapeutic disclosure. The second is an impact letter the betrayed partner will prepare with the help of their individual therapist, describing the impact of their partner’s behaviors and deception. This is then shared in a joint therapy session with the couple and their therapists present. The third part of the process is an emotional restitution letter the partner who engaged in the behaviors will prepare and share during a joint therapy session. This provides an opportunity for the one who disclosed their behaviors to respond to the impact their behaviors have caused their partner, and to begin making repair and amends. After each step, the couples will decide with their therapists whether to proceed with the next step. Many couples have found the disclosure, impact letter, and emotional restitution exercise served an important part in their healing process and laid a foundation to begin rebuilding trust in the relationship.